Three months into having Spike in my life I realized I still had not allowed him into my heart. What does that mean? Well sure, I walked him, fed him, played ball with him.... However we were not really connected at the conscious and deep level. Yes, it was 3 months prior that I had seen him out of the corner of my eye in a large yard filled with sled dogs of all ages owned by my friend Christine in New Hampshire. I was there to adjust several of her sled dogs. Out of the corner of my eye, way down the hill in the dog yard I noticed a young dog jumped up on his dog house and his hind legs stayed bent. Odd I thought. I asked Christine who the dog was and she said his name was Spike and he was 10 months old. The litter was named after the vampire show and his siblings were Willow, Minnow, Xander. I asked if I might look and check him to make sure he was ok. When I was through with all the dogs she wanted me to adjust we went inside. Christine brought Spike inside. It was not a place he saw often since he was being groomed to her next lead dog, following in his father's footsteps. I examined him and found that both his hamstrings were contracted and some other spinal misalignments. I worked on him and then showed Christine how to work on him to help him. Afterwards we were all sitting around talking as the house dogs and Spike roamed around. I was sitting on the floor with my legs stretched out when he choose to lay next to me pressing his outstretched back into the side of my right leg. I hesitated a moment before I carefully placed my entire right hand gently on his side. The moment I touched him I felt an instant peace between he and I. My hand and his body were one. I was not ready for another dog. I was not looking for another dog since I had to put Zia to sleep 3 years earlier and the wound/loss was still fresh. I drove home thinking about that moment. I waited a few days and called Christine and told her that if Spike didn't work out as a sled dog and she needed to find him a home I would be honored to have him. 2 weeks passed and she called and said the she had several other promising dogs to train and groom to be sled dogs and that she felt it best that Spike came to me to live.
It took a few weeks to coordinate Christine bringing Spike out for a trial visit. I had 3 cats one of which was blind and had a head trauma when he was young. Spike had to be able to live with Kali, TeeTee and Owl. His lineage was known to chase and kill cats. I crossed my fingers he was different. He was so cute. A 10 month old wide eyed boy entering a large open living room with big area rugs. He quickly spotted the rugs and ran over to one and laid down. It was as though it was the most luxurious bed he had ever encountered. He loved rugs his entire life. Even jumping on them as I would attempt to rearrange them in the house and I would drag him around to the new location. After a while he got up and checked out the toys and the room. Yes, he realized he didn't have to share his new toys or worry someone would steal them. I remember when he got up from chewing a bone on his new favorite rug - it couldn't get any better or could it? He walked over to the water bowl and looked down into it. He turned and looked at me with a big smile and happy eyes. I knew what he was thinking - the water is clear, no meat floating in it!! I had watched him a few weeks earlier holding his breath and grimacing as he grabbed the pieces of meat floating in his water bowl before he drank some of the water. This is a common practice among mushers called baiting that the do in the winter to ensure that dogs drink enough water before it freezes. Spike turned back to his bowl and happily drank until he was satisfied and then returned to his new rug.
Now it was time to be introduced to the cats he would be living with. Tee Tee and Kali had already moved upstairs and as it turned out they stayed up there for the next 3 months. Owl, my blind cat, was very brave exploring the living room and coming over to check out Spike. Christine got Spike and I got Owl. We proceeded to sit on the sofa with Owl on my lap and Spike coming over to check him out. Owl was not affected and was just his usual nonchalant self. When Spike got a little too excited, Christine would make a low growl and Spike would stop and calm down. After a few times Spike decided Owl was ok and just left him alone. I think he thought it was Owl that was growling. All I know is that he respected Owl and LOVED his cats and any cat I ever brought into the house.
The cutest think happened when Christine was ready to leave and asked Spike to join her to leave. At first, he got up to join her then he stopped turned around and returned to sit on his new favorite rug. It was as if he was saying -you said I was to live here? Why are you asking me to leave?? I had to step in and explain to him that there were people coming to visit and they had a dog that wouldn't get along with him but, after they left he could come back to live. He gathered himself together and walked over to Christine and they left. The following week I drove to NH and picked him up.
Fast forward 3 months.......
Spike and I were in the car returning after a fun day filled with walks, errands and new places to explore. He loved the car. He loved driving around experiencing the world together in his safe little bubble.
As I was driving up my long steep driveway I looked in to the rearview mirror to see him sitting up in the middle of the back seat intently staring out the front window with his head poking between the front seats next to mine. You never know what might come running out of the woods across the driveway or even better, what might be already laying in the driveway. He was happy and probably could have lived his life content with the way it was. In that moment I realized I could not. I wanted more and he deserved more from me than meeting his needs and superficial connection. I looked into his eyes thru the rearview mirror and began to cry. I experienced a tug in my heart. I had closed my heart protected my heart from anymore pain after Zia passed. At that moment, I stopped the car in the middle of the driveway, half way up the steep section. I put on the emergency brake, took a deep breath and began the first of many life changing conversations with Spike - my teacher.
"Spike, I love you dearly. Thank you for putting up with me, for giving me the space and time I needed to heal. Thank you for unconditionally loving me. I realize now that I have not fully opened my heart to you. You deserve more from me and I want to be able to love you fully - even if it is hurts. Yes, I am scared because I know that to open my heart again, someday it will be broken again. But, I want to take that chance. I don't want to have any regrets. I promise that from this day forward (as scared as I am ) I promise to open my heart to you and let you in."
He looked turned his head and looked at me, cocked it to the side, wagged his tail, perked up his ears and body and said "OK LET"S GO, WE HAVE THINGS TO DO, PLACES TO GO, AND THINGS TO SEE....." We never looked back.
