Where do they come from ?

Have you ever wondered where certain thoughts or feelings inside of you originated.  Are they truly yours, did you learn them, do they belong to someone else?   

I came to realize that the sadness I have felt inside of me and have carried for 58 years isn't even mine.  I remember back in grade school when I would take my guitar outside and sing to the universe and the animals.  I would just make up words and cords walking around strumming and singing.  The lyrics of the songs were apologizing for how the people treated the earth and the animals.  Yes, amidst all the singing was an endless stream of tears.  

One day in 8th grade my mom came into my bedroom as I was studying. In the background the The Best of Bread Album was playing on the record player (yes record player). My Mom commented that she thought the type of music I listened to was odd for a kid of my age.  Now that I think of it not many kids in 8th grade had the full collection of Barbara Streisand, Amy Grant, Anne Murray and John Denver to name a  few.  I still love music and lyrics that convey a message, beautiful music and talented singers connected to their work. 

Now that I realize the source of my sadness and that it isn't mine.  How do I release it from my body?

I remembered Christine Richardson, talented animal/soul communicator, sharing with me something Bailey, my 32 year old Painted Pony, explained to her. Bailey told her that his job is to convert energy.  To be honest, up until a few days ago, I had no idea what he was talking about.  I just nodded my head and said - ok.....  Hoping some day I would understand.  

I decided to seek the wisdom of Bailey to help me figure it out.  I went out to the field and asked him to explain this concept.  Here is what Bailey said to me.

"Your job is to just BE.

By you being present, and around people and animals, you are converting their energy to a higher vibration. 

You do not have to do anything.

When you are in a balanced, happy, joyous state simply your presence is all that is needed.

I asked How can that be? How does it really work?

Bailey went on to say that energy and the universe strives to vibrate at the highest frequency possible but for whatever reason sometimes beings get stuck in a lower frequency.  When they are around you their energy comes in to contact with yours and POOF, instant energy conversion. In with the old and out with the new.  It is that simple. 

 You do not need to hold the world's sadness.  Simply be the best version of yourself and thru that alone it will convert.." 

Who knew my carefree Bailey with his ponytude had so much wisdom to impart. 

Thank you Bailey.

"Copyright © Donna Gigliotti 2024. All rights reserved.

Coming Full Circle

 I began my professional journey in chiropractic school being taught that as a chiropractor my job is to remove blockages in the body using a chiropractic adjustment.  There are hundreds of chiropractic techniques out there now.  I studied with several mentors of various techniques and SOT (Sacral Occipital Technique) resonated with me the most.  The foundation of SOT is to re-establish normal flow of the cerebral spinal fluid.  This fluid is produced by cells surrounding the brain and flows down the spine and out the holes in the spine to bathe with nourishment all the nerves of the body.  It also acts like a cushion protector in the brain and spinal cord as is surrounds them.   All of chiropractic was founded on this premise of locating the primary blockages thus restoring the ability of the body to return to it's natural homeostasis and heal itself.    Quite simple.   However,  my education in and out of school also went on to learn the names of all the illnesses that can afflict a person and all the tests to do to prove it.  When I got out of chiropractic school and into the real working world I found a great pressure to name/diagnose the issues.  We as chiropractors are not legally permitted to diagnose.  Our gift is to locate the imbalance/injury/trauma/blockage and add a force/energy to help remove it so the body can heal.  Well,  I have to say it has been very challenging to remain that pure.  I have over the years wavered and succumbed to the pressures of our medically oriented society that believes the power is in the name/diagnosis.  And, my own ego that wants to show how smart it is and come up with a name.   Truthfully, a diagnosis is only a word that was made up to describe some condition.  

So, here is where it comes full circle......

As I,  and my practice has evolved, I once again looked back to my beginning teachings and the truth behind the philosophy of removing blockages so the innate wisdom of the body can heal itself.   This brings us to the present day of studying Spring Forest QiGong and the fundamental philosophy of moving energy and removing blockages.  In chiropractic it was removing blockages in the nervous system and in QiGong it is removing excess energy from the system.  What I focused on in Sacral Occipital Technique was the cerebral spinal fluid flow and in QiGong it is Qi/Chi.   How ironic that they both run in the same area of the body providing life force and nourishment.

Isn't the universe funny.

Master Chunyi Lin

Love It Out Of You and Set It Free

When an individual lives with chronic pain and illness it becomes easy to be mad at it and to hate it.  We hate the arthritis, we hate the joints that hurt, we hate the illness, we hate the tumor...... 

Some practices encourage us to "fight it" to prepare for battle to "defeat it". 

However, the illness, tumor, pain is a part of us. 

Are we not hating a part of ourselves?

Are we not waging war on a part of ourselves?

Are we not casting away, destroying a part of ourselves?

After 27 years a light bulb has turned on inside of me to finally accept the deep connection that exists between my mind and body.  I have a mind that was trained in science. A mind that was taught look at  illness as an invader that has infiltrated my body causing some disease state.  What is traditionally referred to as the germ theory.  However,  we do exist everyday with viruses, bacteria, pathogens, toxins coming in contact with us and even getting inside us. Yet for some reason, they don't bother us, in fact they might even live with us in a symbiotic existence.  But, why did it all change one day?

I now have a greater appreciation for when my lyme doctor, Dr. Lesley Fein, said to me 20 years ago that she thinks we get sick at certain times because we are vulnerable at that time.  Yes,  It was a very stressful time in my life.  I grew up every summer pulling several engorged ticks off of me and I was never sick.  I lived in the pine barrens of NJ.  But, that summer, that tick caught me at a vulnerable time. My defenses were low.  NOW,  20 years later I am beginning to understand and more importantly accept her statement. 

We all tend to store our physical, emotional, and mental traumas in our bodies and minds. Over time they accumulate and weaken our most inner being.  Think of it like a football game.  If one team experiences the loss of several key players ( line backer, blockers, tight ends...) during the course of a game their opponent (germs, illnesses....) can overpower them and invade/infiltrate their territory.  

Some say that the dis-eases we are experiencing have been drawn to us for a reason.  I know for me they have led me to very important learning experiences.  As strange as it sounds, they have all changed my life for the better. I do, however, wish I was a quicker learner and less stubborn to see the truth.  

Master Chunyi Lin, founder of Spring Forest QiGong, talks about how we need to love and transform our pain (physical, mental, emotional) in nature.  It is a part of us.  To hate it is to hate apart of ourselves.  Perhaps a better way is to acknowledge it, thank it for the lessons it has come to teach us and transform it to love/butterflies and set it free to leave our bodies. 

I know all to well that  it takes a substantial amount of energy to mount hate and attempt to drive with force something away then it does to send love and set it free.  Sit with this concept and really feel the difference for a moment.

 I invite you to join me in this practice of self healing and making more room for happiness by setting free the pain and suffering. 

You look fine ...... revisited.

 This is a reprint of my posts years ago.

This is for everyone that suffers from "invisible illnesses" so that others can have a glimpse into our world. 

Thursday, October 31, 2013

You Look Fine ...

This is something I wrote back in 2008 or so when I was very sick.  Anyone that has suffered from something that is not an evident physical problem might be able to relate to this.

What does "You look fine" mean?  You expected me to be in pajamas, dirty wrinkled clothes, unkept hair... You expected me to be long faced, ashen gray...  Take a look on the inside. Take a look in my eyes to my inner being.  This is a place that is struggling to be up, to keep up with the simplest of demands and tasks.  This is a place filled with physical pain, emotional struggles, overcoming daily challenges and chronic exhaustion.  This is not what you see when you look at me is it?  Everyday I put on my best look for you and for me.  I need to, in order to try and hold onto some normalcy in my life.  It might take me half a day or half the morning to muster the courage to face the world but I do it.  I have to.  Other wise I'm afraid I might crumble from the inside - out.

Being a doctor I believe makes me even better at hiding myself from others.  Patients come to me for help not to see a struggling doctor.  Over the years I have had to develop ways to hide my physical shortcomings, mental changes and even my ability to communicate.  I limited how much I moved in front of patients so they couldn't see my altered gait due to the pain in my knees and feet.  I hid my weak left arm resting it in my pants pocket until they were face down on the table.  I spoke slowly when asked a question.  Patients thought it was so they could understand, but really, it was a stalling tactic because I couldn't access the information in my once sharp, steel trap brain.  I began to worry that as a result of my loss of cognitive ability and physical changes that I was not offering my patients the best care I knew they deserved and the care I used to be able to give them.  I became afraid of missing a key point in their health history/story and jeopardize their care.  Additionally, I was unable to write good notes due to the difficulty getting the words from my head to my hand and then to write them legibly.  All of these concerns scared me because of the potential for a malpractice suit and I felt like I was letting my patients down.  They deserved a whole doctor.  So, I got better and better at hiding my short comings from the patients, family, partner and friends.  I even began to realize that I had become an expert at rationalizing all of it to myself in an effort to convinced myself I was OK.  Since everyone kept saying how good I looked.  I must be good - right?

The day finally came when I had to face the fact that life how it was had to change.  This meant giving up my practice.  The time had come that the constant pushing of myself was crating more harm to myself and threats of mishaps.  The life I had managed to manipulate, rationalize and struggle to hold onto ended abruptly one October day.

Scared, relieved, uncertain, exhausted are just a few of the emotions, feelings, thoughts that ran through me when the doctor said "this is it - no more work".  Scared that what had been my reason to hold it together and push on was no longer.  Scared that I would crumble emotionally and physically.  Scared to face how I really felt.  Scared of my reality.  Relieved I did not have to listen to patients while trying to ignore my own aching body and sluggish brain.  Relieved from the burden of worry about my practice. Uncertain what the future held physically, mentally and emotionally.  Then the reality of the exhaustion came to the forefront.  The pain I had been trying to ignore escalated to my attention.  I no longer had to suck it up and put on a good front for my patients and peers.  I was sinking into the extent of my illness and how it and my pushing for all those years had taken a terrible toll on me.

No one understood this because I looked fine.

It All Causes Damage

 I grew up being told that "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me". 

Like many of you  I took it for face value but it is NOT true.  The energy that comes out of a person and is directed towards another in the form or words are as harmful as a punch. It has the same impact if the words are said in a tone of anger or with the intent to harm but said "nicely.  Both still pack a punch to the recipient. 

Our society is just beginning to acknowledge that verbal, emotional and physical abuse all cause harm to the recipient on many levels.  True, physical abuse is usually the easiest to spot because it can leave visible marks.  However, verbal and emotional abuse leave their mark in the person also.  Many times they can be worse because other's can not see what has happened. Often, other's can not believe that the abuser is actually an abuser.  

Verbal and emotional abuse usually occurs behind closed doors or at least out of the sight and earshot of others.  Occasionally, it spills over and is demonstrated in public.  Never the less, the intended recipient or target is wounded. Some of you might know what I am taking about. You can feel just as beat up as if you were physically punched. Energy travels thru words, thoughts and actions having a great impact on the person it hits.  

Individuals living or subjected to the verbal and/or emotional abuse of another tend to have a harder time acknowledging that it is actually happening.  It is common to rationalize the behavior of the abuser or believe what we were told growing up which in fact is not true - "Sticks and Stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me".

Every being is worthy of love and to be treated with kindness.  

                        Value yourself.  

                                        Believe you are enough.

                                                        Believe you are worthy of being treated kindly.

Link to Article on difference between emotional and physical abuse

Sticks and Stone and Words can break your bones........

Make The Most Of Your Life

 

I just returned from a wonderful few days meeting new friends, reacquainting with old friends, making new memories,  releasing thoughts, feelings, patterns that no longer serve me, witnessing someone choosing to leave this earth, celebrating a wedding and an anniversary. 

I was blessed with the opportunity to experience the feelings of being safe, peaceful, calm, solid within myself.  

Yes,  it caught me by surprise.  I first asked myself,  "Donna, what are you feeling?"  "Are you ok?"  

What I was feeling was so new that I thought something was wrong with me.  I realized that the usual "buzz" of anticipation, nervousness, the energy that comes with always moving forward was absent.  I was truly living in the moment and sharing it with another.

What was left and being exposed, that had been hidden behind the "buzz" of living life with forward momentum and each day filled with self imposed and societal expectations was a sense of PEACEFULNESS and CALMNESS.  A feeling that translated for me as feeling SOLID and SAFE.

When I arrived home I found that a friend had sent me the following post.  I feel compelled to share it with you all.  I am sure each and every person will have their own word(s) to describe that place.  The names you choose to use are not important, the feeling(s) and experience is.  Live YOUR Life.

I think it’s important to ask ourselves if I died tomorrow would I be happy with how I lived.

I love to listen to sadder songs , in fact I always found it weird I like to work out to slow music and run to it . I like it because it inspires me and sets my soul on fire, I always found it odd . It reminds me though, all we have is now, some of the song reminds me of pain but the past pain I’ve learned from ignites me and pushes me for some reason.

At a funeral I’ve recently been to the speaker reminded me that even though going to a funeral is painful , those moments we need, because those rooms filled with pain and sorrows forces us look at ourselves and our lives and how we want to be better and live better and love better 

We all came here for a purpose and sometimes we forget and get lost in the chaos, In the noise, in the hills we have to pay , in the jobs we have to get to , in the traffic slowing us down, in the alcohol that drowns /numbs the human emotions for a little while ., 

But it makes sense to me now , maybe my soul somewhere deep down knew I needed to be built this way so when it is my last day I won’t die with one of with deep regrets . 

I look back on my life , not to pity myself, but to remind me of what choices I need to make today , so if I die I don’t regret and “wish I would have .. or waited to ..”

Every day all of us are one day closer to dying .. every day truly does count .. maybe that is dark to say but it is a reminder to live how your heart truly was born to live. 

I’m guilty of this ..

Living for the future - hoping when I get “there” I’ll finally be able to live. Meanwhile I’m missing the journey, eager to get to this “destination” that I think will make life easier and more enjoyable/ I think that’s the human flaw, the mind getting in the way of life at times. 

#Slowdown #Takechances #Speakfromyourheart #Love #Give #Learn #Inspire #Connect 

What do you have to give up , to live ? What beliefs, anger , ruminating thoughts , limiting beliefs do we have to give up , to release - to truly live , to truly breathe , to truly fulfill our potential? 

Sometimes we don’t know who we are without all that because it becomes part of our identity but we can be more than that.

Give yourself permission to become whatever it is you desire , and believe you can just be.

”I am” two powerful words that become you, that are you .

 I am all that I am. And release what no longer serves me. And appreciate every thing and everyone that has taught me . 

Who we are now is an expression of our soul , how we look, what we like, what makes us happy and sad . Expressions of why we came here, what we came to learn and break through, what excites us , what gets us up, what we look forward to, what brings us peace— these all make up the pieces of us. 

I like to write,  play sports,  I like to be alone , to play guitar,  find cold fresh water to swim in, to be around my dogs, my wife kids..these are pieces of me..

What we do and what we like is not who we are , we are everything and nothing at the same time , just on a journey to live, to learn and to evolve.

It feels like a long trip at times , but it really is a short trip here . So I hope we remember, this moment right now, is all we got.

Researchers Reveal Losing A Dog Can Be As Hard As Losing A Loved One

“Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because, in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.” – Amy Sedaris

If you’ve loved and lost a dog before, you know that it’s an incredibly painful experience. After all, a pet isn’t just an animal you own – it’s someone you consider a member of your family. You share a special bond with them, and they become your best friend and companion. Losing a dog can bring deep sadness.

Many times, dog owners need time to grieve and process the loss of their beloved pets before being able to move on. Those around them who have not experienced this pain may not understand. They might tell a grieving “pet parent” to just get over it since it’s “only a dog.” However, this only serves to worsen the pain.

Now, science has proven that mourning the loss of a much-loved dog is not unusual and is, in fact, a real and valid experience. In fact, this research suggests that overcoming the death of a passed pet may be harder than healing from the passing of a human. Here’s what we’ve learned from this study on why it can be so hard to overcome losing a dog.

5 Reasons Why Losing A Dog Is As Hard As Losing A Loved One

“Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because, in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.” – Amy Sedaris

1.    Bonding

According to the Official Journal of the Human Behavior and Evolution Study, we forge bonds with our pups that are very comparable to the bonds we form with people. Our brains interpret these bonding activities in the same way. In other words, our bodies produce the exact same hormones when we bond with dogs as when we bond with people.

This is why your pups begin to feel just like family to you The same chemical processes are taking place that would if you were speaking to a family member! In the case of losing a dog, you have to let go of a creature you have deeply bonded with.

2.    Grieving

So, we’ve established that you bond with dogs and humans the same way. But when a canine companion passes away, you can’t mourn for them the same way you do for people. When a human you’re close to passes away, you can seek therapy or counseling, have the support of friends, family, and loved ones, and hold or attend a funeral.

But when a dog passes away, you have to move on as quickly as you can because this is what others deem acceptable. You can’t turn down social events or have slower performance at work because, according to Telegraph, others don’t see the loss of a pet as something worth grieving over.

Additionally, attending therapy for such a thing might result in negative social repercussions. This can make it tough for you to reconcile a pet’s passing and find closure so you can move on.

3.    Love and Comfort

When your pet dies, you aren’t just losing a dog. You’re losing the feelings you got around them. You’re losing their love, the comfort their presence gave, and the companionship they provided. That’s a lot to lose all in one go, and it can make you feel very empty.

Plus, dogs give their human moms and dads the kind of unconditional love that you can’t really find in people. It’s a love that really, really hurts to lose.

4.    Memories and Routines

If you had a dog, they likely lived with you; you spent most of your time at home with them around. When they pass away, your home becomes different.

• Gone are the routines you got so used to – feeding your pup or taking them out on walks.
• You no longer hear them running through the house, or feel them when they jump up on your lap for a cuddle.
• This can make you feel like you’re lost, especially if you’re one of the many pet owners whose daily schedule has always involved their pets.

You might continue to automatically perform tasks or actions that would only apply if your dog was still around. This makes it all the more difficult to move on.

5.    Guilt

Sometimes, a decision about your dog’s life is placed in your hands. If they were suffering, you may have had to decide that it was time to put them to sleep. Although you made the best choice for your pup, you may still feel guilty about what happened.

Carrying around that guilt with you can make the goodbye even more difficult. You might feel like you should have done more – even when there was nothing else you could do.

So, What Does This All Mean?

Losing a dog – or any pet – is going to be heartbreaking. Remember that your feelings are absolutely valid and that it is okay to need to grieve them. And if other people don’t understand, tell them that your feelings are backed by science!

By Power of PositivityPublished on December 10, 2018Last modified April 07, 2022