When an individual lives with chronic pain and illness it becomes easy to be mad at it and to hate it. We hate the arthritis, we hate the joints that hurt, we hate the illness, we hate the tumor......
Some practices encourage us to "fight it" to prepare for battle to "defeat it".
However, the illness, tumor, pain is a part of us.
Are we not hating a part of ourselves?
Are we not waging war on a part of ourselves?
Are we not casting away, destroying a part of ourselves?
After 27 years a light bulb has turned on inside of me to finally accept the deep connection that exists between my mind and body. I have a mind that was trained in science. A mind that was taught look at illness as an invader that has infiltrated my body causing some disease state. What is traditionally referred to as the germ theory. However, we do exist everyday with viruses, bacteria, pathogens, toxins coming in contact with us and even getting inside us. Yet for some reason, they don't bother us, in fact they might even live with us in a symbiotic existence. But, why did it all change one day?
I now have a greater appreciation for when my lyme doctor, Dr. Lesley Fein, said to me 20 years ago that she thinks we get sick at certain times because we are vulnerable at that time. Yes, It was a very stressful time in my life. I grew up every summer pulling several engorged ticks off of me and I was never sick. I lived in the pine barrens of NJ. But, that summer, that tick caught me at a vulnerable time. My defenses were low. NOW, 20 years later I am beginning to understand and more importantly accept her statement.
We all tend to store our physical, emotional, and mental traumas in our bodies and minds. Over time they accumulate and weaken our most inner being. Think of it like a football game. If one team experiences the loss of several key players ( line backer, blockers, tight ends...) during the course of a game their opponent (germs, illnesses....) can overpower them and invade/infiltrate their territory.
Some say that the dis-eases we are experiencing have been drawn to us for a reason. I know for me they have led me to very important learning experiences. As strange as it sounds, they have all changed my life for the better. I do, however, wish I was a quicker learner and less stubborn to see the truth.
Master Chunyi Lin, founder of Spring Forest QiGong, talks about how we need to love and transform our pain (physical, mental, emotional) in nature. It is a part of us. To hate it is to hate apart of ourselves. Perhaps a better way is to acknowledge it, thank it for the lessons it has come to teach us and transform it to love/butterflies and set it free to leave our bodies.
I know all to well that it takes a substantial amount of energy to mount hate and attempt to drive with force something away then it does to send love and set it free. Sit with this concept and really feel the difference for a moment.
I invite you to join me in this practice of self healing and making more room for happiness by setting free the pain and suffering.
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