It All Causes Damage

 I grew up being told that "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me". 

Like many of you  I took it for face value but it is NOT true.  The energy that comes out of a person and is directed towards another in the form or words are as harmful as a punch. It has the same impact if the words are said in a tone of anger or with the intent to harm but said "nicely.  Both still pack a punch to the recipient. 

Our society is just beginning to acknowledge that verbal, emotional and physical abuse all cause harm to the recipient on many levels.  True, physical abuse is usually the easiest to spot because it can leave visible marks.  However, verbal and emotional abuse leave their mark in the person also.  Many times they can be worse because other's can not see what has happened. Often, other's can not believe that the abuser is actually an abuser.  

Verbal and emotional abuse usually occurs behind closed doors or at least out of the sight and earshot of others.  Occasionally, it spills over and is demonstrated in public.  Never the less, the intended recipient or target is wounded. Some of you might know what I am taking about. You can feel just as beat up as if you were physically punched. Energy travels thru words, thoughts and actions having a great impact on the person it hits.  

Individuals living or subjected to the verbal and/or emotional abuse of another tend to have a harder time acknowledging that it is actually happening.  It is common to rationalize the behavior of the abuser or believe what we were told growing up which in fact is not true - "Sticks and Stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me".

Every being is worthy of love and to be treated with kindness.  

                        Value yourself.  

                                        Believe you are enough.

                                                        Believe you are worthy of being treated kindly.

Link to Article on difference between emotional and physical abuse

Sticks and Stone and Words can break your bones........

Make The Most Of Your Life

 

I just returned from a wonderful few days meeting new friends, reacquainting with old friends, making new memories,  releasing thoughts, feelings, patterns that no longer serve me, witnessing someone choosing to leave this earth, celebrating a wedding and an anniversary. 

I was blessed with the opportunity to experience the feelings of being safe, peaceful, calm, solid within myself.  

Yes,  it caught me by surprise.  I first asked myself,  "Donna, what are you feeling?"  "Are you ok?"  

What I was feeling was so new that I thought something was wrong with me.  I realized that the usual "buzz" of anticipation, nervousness, the energy that comes with always moving forward was absent.  I was truly living in the moment and sharing it with another.

What was left and being exposed, that had been hidden behind the "buzz" of living life with forward momentum and each day filled with self imposed and societal expectations was a sense of PEACEFULNESS and CALMNESS.  A feeling that translated for me as feeling SOLID and SAFE.

When I arrived home I found that a friend had sent me the following post.  I feel compelled to share it with you all.  I am sure each and every person will have their own word(s) to describe that place.  The names you choose to use are not important, the feeling(s) and experience is.  Live YOUR Life.

I think it’s important to ask ourselves if I died tomorrow would I be happy with how I lived.

I love to listen to sadder songs , in fact I always found it weird I like to work out to slow music and run to it . I like it because it inspires me and sets my soul on fire, I always found it odd . It reminds me though, all we have is now, some of the song reminds me of pain but the past pain I’ve learned from ignites me and pushes me for some reason.

At a funeral I’ve recently been to the speaker reminded me that even though going to a funeral is painful , those moments we need, because those rooms filled with pain and sorrows forces us look at ourselves and our lives and how we want to be better and live better and love better 

We all came here for a purpose and sometimes we forget and get lost in the chaos, In the noise, in the hills we have to pay , in the jobs we have to get to , in the traffic slowing us down, in the alcohol that drowns /numbs the human emotions for a little while ., 

But it makes sense to me now , maybe my soul somewhere deep down knew I needed to be built this way so when it is my last day I won’t die with one of with deep regrets . 

I look back on my life , not to pity myself, but to remind me of what choices I need to make today , so if I die I don’t regret and “wish I would have .. or waited to ..”

Every day all of us are one day closer to dying .. every day truly does count .. maybe that is dark to say but it is a reminder to live how your heart truly was born to live. 

I’m guilty of this ..

Living for the future - hoping when I get “there” I’ll finally be able to live. Meanwhile I’m missing the journey, eager to get to this “destination” that I think will make life easier and more enjoyable/ I think that’s the human flaw, the mind getting in the way of life at times. 

#Slowdown #Takechances #Speakfromyourheart #Love #Give #Learn #Inspire #Connect 

What do you have to give up , to live ? What beliefs, anger , ruminating thoughts , limiting beliefs do we have to give up , to release - to truly live , to truly breathe , to truly fulfill our potential? 

Sometimes we don’t know who we are without all that because it becomes part of our identity but we can be more than that.

Give yourself permission to become whatever it is you desire , and believe you can just be.

”I am” two powerful words that become you, that are you .

 I am all that I am. And release what no longer serves me. And appreciate every thing and everyone that has taught me . 

Who we are now is an expression of our soul , how we look, what we like, what makes us happy and sad . Expressions of why we came here, what we came to learn and break through, what excites us , what gets us up, what we look forward to, what brings us peace— these all make up the pieces of us. 

I like to write,  play sports,  I like to be alone , to play guitar,  find cold fresh water to swim in, to be around my dogs, my wife kids..these are pieces of me..

What we do and what we like is not who we are , we are everything and nothing at the same time , just on a journey to live, to learn and to evolve.

It feels like a long trip at times , but it really is a short trip here . So I hope we remember, this moment right now, is all we got.

Researchers Reveal Losing A Dog Can Be As Hard As Losing A Loved One

“Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because, in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.” – Amy Sedaris

If you’ve loved and lost a dog before, you know that it’s an incredibly painful experience. After all, a pet isn’t just an animal you own – it’s someone you consider a member of your family. You share a special bond with them, and they become your best friend and companion. Losing a dog can bring deep sadness.

Many times, dog owners need time to grieve and process the loss of their beloved pets before being able to move on. Those around them who have not experienced this pain may not understand. They might tell a grieving “pet parent” to just get over it since it’s “only a dog.” However, this only serves to worsen the pain.

Now, science has proven that mourning the loss of a much-loved dog is not unusual and is, in fact, a real and valid experience. In fact, this research suggests that overcoming the death of a passed pet may be harder than healing from the passing of a human. Here’s what we’ve learned from this study on why it can be so hard to overcome losing a dog.

5 Reasons Why Losing A Dog Is As Hard As Losing A Loved One

“Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because, in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.” – Amy Sedaris

1.    Bonding

According to the Official Journal of the Human Behavior and Evolution Study, we forge bonds with our pups that are very comparable to the bonds we form with people. Our brains interpret these bonding activities in the same way. In other words, our bodies produce the exact same hormones when we bond with dogs as when we bond with people.

This is why your pups begin to feel just like family to you The same chemical processes are taking place that would if you were speaking to a family member! In the case of losing a dog, you have to let go of a creature you have deeply bonded with.

2.    Grieving

So, we’ve established that you bond with dogs and humans the same way. But when a canine companion passes away, you can’t mourn for them the same way you do for people. When a human you’re close to passes away, you can seek therapy or counseling, have the support of friends, family, and loved ones, and hold or attend a funeral.

But when a dog passes away, you have to move on as quickly as you can because this is what others deem acceptable. You can’t turn down social events or have slower performance at work because, according to Telegraph, others don’t see the loss of a pet as something worth grieving over.

Additionally, attending therapy for such a thing might result in negative social repercussions. This can make it tough for you to reconcile a pet’s passing and find closure so you can move on.

3.    Love and Comfort

When your pet dies, you aren’t just losing a dog. You’re losing the feelings you got around them. You’re losing their love, the comfort their presence gave, and the companionship they provided. That’s a lot to lose all in one go, and it can make you feel very empty.

Plus, dogs give their human moms and dads the kind of unconditional love that you can’t really find in people. It’s a love that really, really hurts to lose.

4.    Memories and Routines

If you had a dog, they likely lived with you; you spent most of your time at home with them around. When they pass away, your home becomes different.

• Gone are the routines you got so used to – feeding your pup or taking them out on walks.
• You no longer hear them running through the house, or feel them when they jump up on your lap for a cuddle.
• This can make you feel like you’re lost, especially if you’re one of the many pet owners whose daily schedule has always involved their pets.

You might continue to automatically perform tasks or actions that would only apply if your dog was still around. This makes it all the more difficult to move on.

5.    Guilt

Sometimes, a decision about your dog’s life is placed in your hands. If they were suffering, you may have had to decide that it was time to put them to sleep. Although you made the best choice for your pup, you may still feel guilty about what happened.

Carrying around that guilt with you can make the goodbye even more difficult. You might feel like you should have done more – even when there was nothing else you could do.

So, What Does This All Mean?

Losing a dog – or any pet – is going to be heartbreaking. Remember that your feelings are absolutely valid and that it is okay to need to grieve them. And if other people don’t understand, tell them that your feelings are backed by science!

By Power of PositivityPublished on December 10, 2018Last modified April 07, 2022

What Motivates You?

 Have you ever thought about what really motivates you to do what you do?

I want to share with you a very short, yet powerful video from an amazing woman - Victoria Lebalme.  She lectures and coaches individuals how to be their best and give powerful speeches and lectures. 

Victoria Lebalme - What is your Throughline?

Gracefully Aging: from Spike's Book of Life's Lessons

                                                                   Art by Mia Bosna

Spike says there is no more need to push.

Just be - it is ok.

You don't have to push anymore, it is not a sign of weakness.

The secret to the second half of life is about being content.

Knowing you are safe, secure, content.

Still do all you are meant to do. 

Do what makes you feel good, feel happy.

You have nothing to prove.

No need to anxiously pursue with hard forward energy driving forward. 

Walk, move with decisiveness.

You are being divinely guided  - Just as you asked.

It does not have to be difficult. 

Take a breath in, exhale out - it is that simple. 

Exhale out and leave behind all that is not yours (thoughts, beliefs, struggles, ideals, ideas)

Inhale in YOUR life and all that comes with it. 

You are standing on solid ground. It is just different ground. 

This ground supports you.  It is solid, safe, loving reasonably predictable, loving, supportive, smooth. 

Embrace the new. 

Embrace this gift I give you. 

We each have new roles. Embrace this new chapter of Life.

Trust this process. 

All will be easy now.

 

Getting old is really in your head

I was listening to Louise Hay's audio book The Power is Within You.  In this particular chapter she was addressing the aging process.  Here are some of the highlights of this chapter.

Getting old is a normal and natural process of living.

We are on this planet to experience every part of life.

Separate the idea that you get old and get sick as you age.

You do not have to get sick or suffer to die.

When it is our time to leave and we have accomplished what we came here to do we can take a nap and leave peacefully. 

We do not have to suffer in our last years and days in order to leave the planet.

The Aging Set Point Theory states:

• We do not get old by chronological age.
• We have a biological time clock that exists in our minds.
• If we think 35 is midlife then our bodies begin to accelerate our aging at that point for a decline. If we think at age 70 we are now old, our bodies then become old.
• Our beliefs, thoughts and concepts dictate how long we live and our quality of life. 

For as long as I can remember I always thought I would leave this earth at age 57.  Well,  shocking to me I am in my 57th year and still kicking. In many ways stronger and wiser as a result of my health journey. 

I think my innate wisdom knew that a part of me would be dying at 57.  Yes,  that is what is true.  I was given a choice, like we all are, to either continue my life the way I had been living it prior OR get rid of / leave behind / let die those things, ideas, concepts, thought patterns, beliefs, people, places........ that no longer serve me and create from that day forward a new life.  I have chosen the latter. 

I have chosen the road less traveled.  Which happens to be one of my favorite books I read when I was a teenager. 

Abundance and prosperity is about allowing ourselves to accept.

Open up and Feel from Spike's Book of Life Lessons

                                     Definition of Feel used as a verb:

                                                  To receive information by touch

                                                  To receive information by being touched

                                                  To perceive, sense, detect, discern, experience, endure

                                    Definition of Feel used as a noun:

                                           A sensation of texture, grain, quality of an object or material 

                                          

Let's begin this way and then proceed into Spike's Lesson on Feeling.

How different is this experience in your body?

You are leaving a gathering at a buddy's/friend's house.  When you get to the door you exchange a hug.  Your friend says, " thanks for coming" as they give you a pat on the back and a squeeze of your shoulder.  You return the gesture with a similar pat and a squeeze of their shoulder. You each smile and part ways.  Now, let's think about this experience and feel this exchange.  Most likely no real emotion or physical feeling was exchanged.  Your energy field was close to your body.  Maybe not completely closed as though you had on armor - but maybe.  It depends how safe/comfortable you feel with that friend.  But I doubt the hug lingered. That would have been awkward.  That linger allows a chance to really share is reserved for people we trust and in an environment we feel safe. Opening ourselves, opening our energy fields, letting down our protective armor, reducing our surface tension is a conscious choice.  It exposes our vulnerable underbelly as Spike would say. 

Most working dogs do not roll over and expose their underbelly to just anyone.  You must earn their trust before they will allow you that close or allow themselves to be that exposed and vulnerable. 

Let's talk a minute about this concept of surface tension.  We are familiar with the phenomenon whereby a bug seems to defy all odds and walk on water.  How can that be? Shouldn't they fall thru and drown? They don't because there is a thin layer of water molecules that line up on the surface of the water forming a barrier that prevents their legs from penetrating into the water.   This is called surface tension.  The barrier/tension of the closely packed molecules allows the bug to stay on top of the water and walk across effortlessly.  If the bug is too heavy or the water is choppy the tension is compromised and the bug falls thru.  

We, as humans, usually go through life protected in some manner.  For instance, we might wear more clothing, keep our distance, construct walls around us, put on energetic armor, or increase our surface tension.  All in an effort to protect us from the unwanted energies of people, places and things invading our space.  

I am not implying that this is a bad practice.  It definitely comes in handy.  However, when and how do we lessen or remove these protections? How do we reduce our surface tension?

Allowing someone in is a conscious choice.

The first day I met Spike and he laid next to me on the floor at Christine's house with his back against my leg. I laid my hand on his side and I experienced him making a conscious choice to let me in.  When my hand touched his fur then rested more deeply onto his skin it felt like my hand and his body were one.  The surface tension was gone.  I had been working, playing and petting many dogs that day and this did not occur with any of them.  They allowed me to interact and touch them and even adjust them but their surface tension remained.  Not with Spike.  There came a calmness, stillness in that instance that I had never experienced before.  I knew that if he trusted me to this depth that we had something special.  I didn't realize that he was teaching me a very big lesson on how to open up and feel another being.  A lesson that I would need when I found my partner in life.  

To truly experience another being we have to reduce our surface tension and remove our protective mechanisms we have put in place.  This is a conscious choice done when we feel safe and trust the other enough to expose our "tender underbelly".  This is when the magic happens.  This is when we can truly Feel another being and they can truly Feel us.    Thanks Spike