Every interaction means something - even though you have no idea what......

You never know how your actions or words impact another. 

Lately,  I have been thinking that what I do for a living is not that significant.  I look around and see singers, sports figures, speakers with sold out venues and what much of society measures as success. I began to compare my value and worth to external society standards of success. This is never a good idea.  I doubted what I do to be significant because it seems so simple to me. Remove blockages and turn on life force so the body can heal itself and beings can express their full potential.   It looks so easy, like I am not doing much of anything because it is so gentle. In reality, each being's own life force is doing the healing, I am simply removing the blockages so it can heal. 

I started to buy into that line of thought.  I had myself convinced that I didn't really matter.  What I did anyone could do. 

The universe very loudly and repeatedly showed me that was not true.  Just because all the outward displays of fame society uses to judging success, don't follow me around doesn't 't mean my presence doesn't impact lives.  

God works in mysterious ways.

During office hours today one of the receptionists pulled me aside to tell me that there was a woman in the waiting room that has a flower delivery for me.   I said for me??  Who would be sending me flowers?  The woman was sitting in a chair holding the most beautiful arrangement of fresh flowers.  I approached and said hello and how could I help her.  She looked at me with both a smile and sadness as she reached out to give me the bouquet of flowers.  She said that she was Valentino's mom.  A dog that I had seen several weeks prior for one visit and referred them to a specialist.  I had been in close contact with the vet specialist and knew that my greatest fear was true.  Valentine had a rare cancer and only lived 2 weeks after I saw him.    The woman thanked me for believeing her that somethight was wrong with her best best friend. She had seen several vets looking for help and was dismissed/blown off.   Honestly I told her I did really didn't do much except get her to the vet specialist so that he could confirm and I was just praying he could help.  I didn't DO anything. Yet,  She was grateful for being heard, helped and to have closure.   I had no idea that my actions the care I gave them both that day was so meaningful and impactful to them both.  

Please remember YOU matter.  Everyday we have the opportunity to interact with another being and how you show up, what you say matters more than you may ever know.  A simple smile or thank you to a stranger may change the trajectory of their day or even their life.   

Success is not measured by the number of followers you have or recognition by the masses or wealth.   

Success is determined by the motive of your heart and how you steward the gifts that have been given to you that you share with the world. 

We Only Think We Know

 

A young woman called to have an insightful educational session regarding her horse.  Her horse was being boarded in a barn that, from what she described was not healthy living conditions.  He was standing in unmarked stalls, rarely turned out.  He had chronic feet and GI issues.  

I decided to use the session to educate.  It took all of me not to breakdown at the thought of living in and standing in filth never seeing the light of day, grass under my feet, breathing fresh air and feeling the warmth of the sun........  We all need those things to thrive.  Especially a horse that needs to move to circulate blood into and out of his feet.  Horses need to move (1 mile a day of walking is idea). to help their very long digestion tract work properly. 

I encouraged her to approach the barn owner/manager and share this newly acquired knowledge in hope that they would listen and all the hoses could benefit.  If all else fails relocate her horse. 

Well,  little did I know the lesson this horse was providing for her was for the owner to learn to stand up for herself.  She became empowered in all aspects of her life.  Her new found inner strength changed the her life, her horses life and all the horses lives in the barn, and the barn manager.  

That was not all.  I thought the session was about saving her house not about how the experience was preparing her for what was to come.  

Not long after, her father passed and she became the executor of his estate and ultimately she had to stand up for herself with her mother. She used her new found skills and voice that she learned from her horse to help her in this situation.  

The woman and her horse even taught me a very big lesson.

Never judge, don't think I know better.  Be of service and let it play out.  

Can you see me, please.

                                                

                                                I am more than meets the eye.

                                                I am more, I want more, I can do more, I can be more

                                                        than the limited vision you have of me. 

                                                I learned how you wanted me to act.

                                                I ran as fast as I could for you. 

                                                I gave you all I had everyday, 

                                                            even when I couldn't.

                                                Never once did you ask me how I felt.

                                                Never once did you ask me how was that for you?

                                                You used me and put me away -

                                                            never once saying Thank you.

                                                I could have helped you to help me,

                                                             but no one ever asked. 

                                               You all thought you knew more.

                                                I chose to shut down inside.

                                                It was the only way I could survive

                                                I learned to give you what you wanted - 

nothing more, nothing less.

                                This is the story  and lessons that Mr. Bay shares. 

                                This could be the reality of any person or animal.  

Your Perceptions Govern Your Reality - Change Your Perception and Change Your Reality

                                                   

                       

  How to Use Your "Thinking" To Heal (you tube link)    

You Tube of Dr. Mayim Bailak and Dr. Ellen Longer

Here is just one idea to challenge your perception:

how much does 1+1=?

We are taught in school that 1+1=2

BUT

If I said, 1 pile of laundry + 1 pile of laundry = how many piles of laundry?

Answer........1 big pile of laundry

From the Whispers- Owl Man

 

It all started 3 nights prior when Owl Man, my 10yr old cat began a strange behavior. He would come into my bedroom pacing back and forth next to the bed and meow or more accurately scream.  At first I thought he got lost,  or was confused because he never came into that room in all the years we lived there. 

Finally on the third night, at 3 in the morning during one of his pacing and screaming rituals, I just couldn't take it anymore. Owl had been a happy, serious. quiet cat.  He enjoyed running around  the house catching mice and baby ring neck snakes that would emerge once a year from the fireplace. But  this behavior was very out of character. Nothing would console him so I got out of bed, turned on the light and picked him up and plopped him on the bed. I began to question him about his behavior.  He sat there fully attentive as I looked into his eyes and said "Owl man what the heck is going on?"  Like I was really expecting an answer .......  

I was not prepared for what he proceeded to tell me. 

I AM BLIND.......I AM BLIND.....TEE TEE SAYS I AM BLIND...TEE TEE SAYS IT IS REALLY BAD.....

Wholey crap that is not what I expected.  Where did that come from? I then remembered that a few days prior I had a session with an animal communicator.  Tee Tee communicated with the woman that she thought there was something very odd about Owl Man.   I did confirm that Owl was indeed mostly blind. You would never know by the way he raced around the house  and launching himself onto his favorite table by the window.  The animal communicator explained that to Tee Tee.  So Tee Tee must have said something to him. However, Owl had no idea what that meant since he had been that way for years.  He only retained  that she said it was bad. 

Thinking on my feet, I said to Owl," Do you know what it means to be blind?"  Still sitting on the bed where I had plopped him. He looked intently at me and said NO - BUT, Tee Tee said it was BAD! 

I took a deep breath and attempted to explain and calm him down.  I said "Owl,  It has to do with how you see things. Let me ask you this.  Do you see things any differently today then you did yesterday?"  Owl cocked his head and I could see him trying to access his memory.  After what seemed like a long time he said NO.  I said ,that is great.  You see things differently than Tee Tee because of the accident you had when you were young and you were in the animal hospital.  That is where I found you and brought you home.   How you see is not bad it is just different. It is how you see. How you see is normal for you.  There is nothing to worry about this is just you. "

Owl takes a deep breath and lets out a long sigh...... He jumps off the bed and back to his normal life. 

From The Whispers - Staff Sergeant Lotor

 

This is the first time I had the courage to put down on paper the Whispers that guide me and help me with the work I do and life.  2/11/2010

It all began as usual……..

As I am driving to a home or enter an exam room to see an animal, be that dog, cat, horse, pig goat…….  I try to connect/tune into the animal.  I begin by asking permission, introducing myself, explaining who I am and what I try to do to help them. I then scan their physical body for any glaring issues, pain, heat distortions, misalignments, blockages.  Whatever catches my attention that just isn’t right or shouldn’t be there.  I try to look deep and differentiate what I am seeing and feeling.  Is the problem on the surface, more superficial and structural ? Is it more deeply seated and potentially emotional in nature causing physical issues? I wait for a picture or feeling to register in my body and/or mind.  It could be a feeling, smell, picture, or a voice in my head I hear.

I always pray that I am of service for the highest good for the animal  - not just to be good so I look good.  I pray to keep my ego out of the process. 

We connect center to center, heart to heart and it is from there that I listen….. We are safe to communicate from that pure place and the animals feel safe and can begin to share.  Then it is up to me to try to translate what they are sharing. 

On this particular day I was on my way to Lotor’s home and as I settled into the car seat and began my drive I slowly tuned in to Lotor.  I was immediately consumed with a rush of anxiety.   I interpreted this as my own since on our last visit he had suddenly jumped up and yelped as I was touching him.  Clearly he lived in alot of pain and PTSD caused by the years he served as a bomb sniffing dog in the Marines Lotor used to  jump out of planes parachuting to the ground  and his body experienced many explosions and the trauma during several tours of duty.  He originally came to me from California when his owner/handler was transferred to PA.  Lotor showed up at the office as any stoic dog would, holding his head up high, yet, his body clearly showed the weight of his injuries, trauma and pain he endured everyday.  His gait was severely ataxic (legs not moving normally ) in the front and rear.  The area of his back between his shoulder blades was significantly lower than the rest of his spine so that his shoulder blades looked odd protruding very high above his spine and with each step they moved even higher towards the ceiling because he didn’t have the strength to support himself in the front end. A large area over his lowback had been shaven  in an attempt to do a lumbar puncture  to get answers as to the cause of his deteriorating condition.  It is now over 6 months since the hair was shaven and it has not grown back- yet he carried himself proudly.  I could see in his eyes that he was doing all he could to function/do his job, even if that job today was to be able to walk into the office to see me.   As the universe would have it, the entire office  had to hunker down in a middle room of the building because of a freak tornado warning.  I was grateful for the the extra time I had to learn about Lotor’s story and the entire office got to experience and appreciate a canine war hero.   Once the tornado threat passed I worked on Lotor adjusting his first vetertbra in his neck, and used gentle techinques that allowed the rest of his spine to relax and move more freely. Then I balanced his cerebral spinal fluid so that his nervous system could get the nourioushment it so needed to allow it to heal.   Over the course of 3 weeks he began to quickly grow back his hair and got stronger in his upper back.  HIs shoulder blades and muscles around them could now hold him up proudly.  He began to want to play and engage with the family and the other dogs he lived with.  He felt well enough to be loved by his family and he could express his love and gratitude to them.  He no longer was  just trying to survive.

So back to the car ride to Lotor’s house that day….

I am back in that sudden feeling of overwhelming anxiety.  Could it be my own anxiety?  My own anxiety about getting it right, my own ego worrying, my own doubt creeping in that this time I might not be able to help Lotor?  I remembered the pain I saw in his eyes on our first encounter that he tried to hide behind his pride. 

When I got to the house they took me to Lotor who was laying on the sofa.  He didn’t even look like himself.  He looked small and frail.  Not his usual 90 pound, proud and handsome German Shepherd that he was.  He looked defeated.   He managed to drag himself off the sofa and use every ounce of courage and strength to great me.  He looked up into my eyes and gave me a kiss.  I leaned into him asking him to please talk to me so I can help him. I was nervous but began to touch him and gently ask him questions.  Many times I just ask the questions in my mind and pray I get some answer.  Those answers come as physical answers as I am touching and examining and other times they come as a random word,  scene in my head, a smell, a feeling that I then have  to interpret in order to figure out how best to help them heal.   This time, with Lotor, the flash of insight was intense.    I could now see that the anxiety that I had been feeling was not mine but his. I could now see that it was his anxiety and fear. The pain that he was in caused HIM to have a flash back. When the pain hit him yesterday he was instantly transported back to the day in Afghanistan when a disc between his shoulder blades was severely injured and he could not move.  I had no idea what was going on or what this meant.  I just knew that the memory was more disturbing and triggered something in him that was greater than the pain he was actually experiencing at that moment.  I took a breath and said to Lotor, I would do my best to figure this out but I need your help. Talk to me…..As I examined him I also saw  constriction in his lower back that looked like a stream that had been partially blocked by a bunch of debris, and a misaligned neck vertebra.   I worked on the physical things I could help with but this went much deeper.  

Then  a memory came to me about a human client I had that was a Vietnam Vet and I saw the same fear in his eyes when I touched a vertebra in his neck and he went into a full blown PTSD flash back.  Yes I was scared as he turned and jumped off the adjusting table lunging at me as my back hit the wall.  He thought he was back in Vietnam with the enemy after him.  And I was the enemy.  I managed to hold my eye contact and remind him he was safe and in my office in PA…….thankfully all turned out ok.  AND on a really positive note the physical issue he had come to me for went away and never returned. 

I knew I had to figure out how to access the primary reason for Lotor’s distress today.   I began to ask his nervous system questions to get to the core of the issue, since clearly he was still distressed even though I had adjusted his physical misalignments.  

So many thoughts were going thru my mind as I was formulating questions to ask him.  I had no idea where to even begin. But I knew it had to do with some flash back. 

I did the only thing I knew to do …. Look into his eyes and ask him what was he afraid of? Expecting to hear the word pain or see a picture or feel pain but, I did not!!!  NO, that was not the answer to this puzzle.  

What I heard was so amazing.   Lotor’s inner self said that he was afraid that they would think less of him if he couldn’t do his job.  He didn’t want to let his family down.  He was a Marine and always would be and took that position very seriously.  His still slightly cloudy distant eyes suddenly became present and sparkled again as I assured him that HE IS LOVED JUST THE WAY HE IS. He served his time and did his job when he was in the service but now he just gets to enjoy life and his family.  He reached up to lick my face, took a big deep breath and sighed. I watched him over the next few minutes (as I tried to explain to the owner what just happened), his body relax as he took in the concept that he no longer had to hold it all together.   By the time I was done fumbling trying to find the words that sounded professional and coherent to  explain to the owners what just happened and being a little worried I just lost all credibility as a doctor.   Lotor picked himself up off the sofa where he had been laying since yesterday.  All of our attention shifted to watch him do a full body shake, look around and bound to the door to go outside.

 FEAR was at the root.  FEAR was causing the muscle spasm. FEAR was causing the restiction of fluid in his spine. FEAR was making him hold his breath waiting for the other shoe to drop.  

I don’t know what life has in store for Lotor.  But, what I do know is that being understood, appreciated and accepted for who he is now is as important to him and it is for people.  

Thank you Staff Sergeant Lotor of the Marines.

Thank you J.R. Halbert for sharing your Whispers and giving me the courage to share mine. 

What's to come?

 By the time you are done with this chapter of your life, you won't even recognize parts of yourself.

You are doing things differently now. You are responding instead of reacting. You are taking more risks. You are laughing more.  You are smiling more. You are more peaceful than ever before. You are wiping away your fears, and you recognize there is still much to be done, you are creating new and exciting opportunities that are allowing the process to unfold more easily. This is where you get to pick and choose how you want the next few years to go. With the healthy control you have created. There is no where to go but up and forward. 

Never give up advocating for yourself

 

Very strange unrelated symptoms began about 2 years ago.  Certain hand creams made my hands turn red and swell.  If I touched clothing that had fabric softener on them my hands would turn red and swell.  Clothes shopping was a night mare causing swollen red hands and even tightness in my chest.    Then I began noticing that the smell of red meat cooking in a pan made me fill ill.  I loved a good roasted prime rib yet the smell of it cooking was revolting and eating led to weird symptoms that showed up in a few hours.   It got so bad after 2 years that the last time I ate a hamburger my face swelled so much I had large watery bags under my eyes and above my eyes were all swollen.  I thought maybe I had rubbed my eyes and gotten poison Ivy or oak there.  My hands and body were swollen,  my joints ached.  My brain felt like it was in a fog, the fatigue was crippling.   I took natural antihistamines, iced my eyes and sucked it up and went to work and living life the best I could.   

I had brought this up to my family doctor 2 years prior but as usual met with "Oh Donna,  Alpha- Gal (allergy to red meat) is a very rare issue.......I will look to see if there is even a test for it."    So,  I mostly stopped eating red meat.  I found I could eat a certain hamburger once in a while.  But all the weird reactions to other foods and substances got worse and more frequent.  I live a pretty simple life and even with that I was suffering and had no idea the extent of where this Alpha - Gal is hidden in foods, and products.   

After the most recent swollen face and hives on top of the poison ivy, I requested again to be tested for Alpha Gal.  Now that it is more socially acceptable in the medical community and the  Journal of Cardiology just ran a big article on the implications of individuals with alpha gal syndrome on the heart.  I was able to get tested and as you can imagine I tested very strongly positive for beef and lamb and  mild for pork.  I still have to have further testing for venison, bison.......and other mammalian foods. 

Alpha - Gal is a sugar that is found in the saliva of Lodestar and Deer ticks in PA.   As soon as the tick bites you the saliva transmits alpha gal into you.  More tick bites of infected ticks and the stronger your reactions to red meat or anything made with or from red meat mammals or Red Algae known at Caragean. 

Yes you get it now, anaphalaxis from shampooing your hair?  using hand lotion,? IV catheters, binders in drugs, gelatin capsules, Jello and the list goes on.......

Not everyone get anaphylaxis (severe allergic reaction that makes it hard to breath). I reacted by my face, eyes and body swelling, hives, fatigue, flushing (like a hot flash) felt like my brain was in a heavy fog, anxiety, joint pain and swelling, severe GI cramping and sometimes explosive diarrhea.

Here is a list of medications that are contraindicated if you have alpha-gal

https://inpharmd.com/inquiries/7b59a192d887a7bce18eb339b9cbc82289c04016bae4cfb8656cbb41a53ce033

The moral of the story is to  continue to advocate for yourself!!!!

I know it is not easy, especially when you do not feel well but you have to !!!

 

SILENT SUFFERING

 Today I watched on national TV a woman receive a new car for her heroic efforts during the terrible flooding in North Carolina storms.   You would have expected it to be a joyous moment but her face went white.  Of course she was happy, surprised, grateful.  BUT...... When they asked her about this moment she said "Thank you,  what I did seems so far in the past and I thought I had forgotten it all but in this moment the reality of the hardship, trauma, fear just came rushing back."

I can identify with her sudden reliving of past traumas that were buried because I/we had to survive.  We think we have forgotten but we never do.  Something as simple and should be a wonderful event of receiving a gift or award opens our flood gates of the past.  

We are the only ones that really understand the seriousness, the heaviness of what we went thru.  How deeply we were affected on a physical level, and emotional level. Certain events in our lives change us forever, even if we think we have "forgotten" them.  

For me what came rushing back was the seriousness of my physical condition(s) and I was going thru it alone and trying to maintain a positive attitude.  Trying to maintain composure because I was a doctor and had clients that I needed to show up for to help. But, underneath it all like the woman from NC, I was going thru much trauma myself.  

Maybe having to serve others helped us get thru.  Having a bigger cause than ourselves to focus on.

There is something larger than us.... from Andrew Loyd Weber's Starlight Express

 Sydnie Christmas sings her original version of Andrew Loyd Weber's song.

I hope you enjoy Sydnie's amazing and captivating voice.

Turning 60 years old is a significant milestone.

Age and birthdays have never meant much to me.  However,  turning 60 has made me want to reflect on a few things.  Alot of life has happened in the past 60 years AND I have so much still to do with a ticking clock. 

I decided to look up why this particular birthday feels so significant and here are some comments and thoughts I found. 

For many, the age of 60 symbolizes the onset of a decade brimming with changes, newfound freedoms, and the exciting prospect of embarking on new adventures. In a society that often places a premium on youth and vitality, there is a quiet revolution unfolding among those in their sixties.

Sixty is not middle-aged. Not even close. Sixty is a reckoning with the truth of mortality, with change, with a new sense of myself as finite.

Sixty is time to let go of perfection. Time, also, to give up comparing, worrying, arguing over petty things, and taking slights personally.

The meaning of life at age 60 can vary greatly from person to person, often shaped by individual experiences, beliefs, and circumstances. However, several themes commonly emerge during this stage of life:

I'm turning 60, and—please don't take offense—I no longer have to be concerned about what anyone thinks of me! (You know, the old Am I doing it right? Am I saying it right? Am I being what or who I'm "supposed" to be?) I'm turning 60, and I've earned the right to be just as I am. I'm more secure in being myself than I've ever been.

“becoming a crone” (that is, a wise old woman) at the age of 60

I do know it is a time to be grateful.

I can now see how we affect others lives and don't even know it.  We do so in the kind words we say,  the smile we greet them with, a helping hand.  It is not necessarily what we do in our professional capacity with others but our essence of who we are that impacts them.    

Also. I know understand the statement "Do not compare your inside to someone else's outside". Another words,  just because someone looks like they have it all, seem to have it all together, know where they are going......  it might just be a good show.  They might be (and usually are) searching, nervous, insecure but have mastered their outsides to cover up their insides.   Don't be fooled and feel bad about yourself.  We are all in the same boat  - some boats are just well shined. 

When Life Gives You Lyme disease

This is a topic that hits very close to home with me.  I wanted to share her talk because she expresses well all the aspects we deal and live with on a daily basis when you have non-visible illnesses.  We are not only trying to get better but we are having to spend alot of energy overcoming society and the medical profession's opinions and judgements.  

ASHLEY BAKER

SINGER I SONGWRITER I LYME ACTVIST

Ashley Baker, or better known as her stage name AshtheArtist, is a Singer, Songwriter, Rapper, and Actress from Hagerstown, MD. Ash has performed at shows up and down the east coast and has opened for artists such as 2 Live Crew, Afroman, and Lyfe Jennings. In addition to her role in music, Ash is an advocate and pioneer for lyme disease research having been diagnosed herself May 2018. Ash has been featured in multiple documentaries, including recently released, "The Quiet Epidemic" and her biggest role yet in "I'm Not Crazy, I'm Sick" feature documentary released on Amazon Prime and AppleT May 2023, that has been recognized by Forbes, Variety, and more recently Today.com. Ash also has served at a 501C non profit called Project Lyme for 2 years and as of May 2024, was elected as Chair of the Emerging Leaders Board. She hopes to bring awareness to the disease through her music and speeches.

TED×

Hagerstown Women

TEDX Hagerstown Women Link

Dr. Judy Morgan DVM Podcast Speaking the truth about vaccines, pet food, flea and tick products

 This is a VERY informative interview with Dr. Morgan speaking the truths to help you make the right decisions regarding food, vaccines, flea and tick products for your beloved pets.   Remember, Dr. Morgan is a veterinarian.   

Dr. Morgan DVM Podcast Link

In Memory of Dr. Mona Lisa Schulz, MD., PhD., Medical Intuitive

 The world has lost an amazing woman June 29, 2024.  

Dr. Mona Lisa Schultz was one of the most influential teachers in my life.  She was the first person to help me acknowledge and cultivate my intuitive abilities.  She was not an easy teacher and if she saw potential in you she was direct, pulled no punches.   Her ability to use music lyrics and humor to teach the most complex lessons and concepts made her an amazing teacher able to reach/connect with all types of people.

I am grateful to have been her lifelong student.  

Here is a link to her latest Podcast a small demonstration of her brilliance. 

https://mindbodyspirit.fm/shows/healthy-living-intuitively-with-dr-mona-lisa/

 

Where do they come from ?

Have you ever wondered where certain thoughts or feelings inside of you originated.  Are they truly yours, did you learn them, do they belong to someone else?   

I came to realize that the sadness I have felt inside of me and have carried for 58 years isn't even mine.  I remember back in grade school when I would take my guitar outside and sing to the universe and the animals.  I would just make up words and cords walking around strumming and singing.  The lyrics of the songs were apologizing for how the people treated the earth and the animals.  Yes, amidst all the singing was an endless stream of tears.  

One day in 8th grade my mom came into my bedroom as I was studying. In the background the The Best of Bread Album was playing on the record player (yes record player). My Mom commented that she thought the type of music I listened to was odd for a kid of my age.  Now that I think of it not many kids in 8th grade had the full collection of Barbara Streisand, Amy Grant, Anne Murray and John Denver to name a  few.  I still love music and lyrics that convey a message, beautiful music and talented singers connected to their work. 

Now that I realize the source of my sadness and that it isn't mine.  How do I release it from my body?

I remembered Christine Richardson, talented animal/soul communicator, sharing with me something Bailey, my 32 year old Painted Pony, explained to her. Bailey told her that his job is to convert energy.  To be honest, up until a few days ago, I had no idea what he was talking about.  I just nodded my head and said - ok.....  Hoping some day I would understand.  

I decided to seek the wisdom of Bailey to help me figure it out.  I went out to the field and asked him to explain this concept.  Here is what Bailey said to me.

"Your job is to just BE.

By you being present, and around people and animals, you are converting their energy to a higher vibration. 

You do not have to do anything.

When you are in a balanced, happy, joyous state simply your presence is all that is needed.

I asked How can that be? How does it really work?

Bailey went on to say that energy and the universe strives to vibrate at the highest frequency possible but for whatever reason sometimes beings get stuck in a lower frequency.  When they are around you their energy comes in to contact with yours and POOF, instant energy conversion. In with the old and out with the new.  It is that simple. 

 You do not need to hold the world's sadness.  Simply be the best version of yourself and thru that alone it will convert.." 

Who knew my carefree Bailey with his ponytude had so much wisdom to impart. 

Thank you Bailey.

"Copyright © Donna Gigliotti 2024. All rights reserved.

Coming Full Circle

 I began my professional journey in chiropractic school being taught that as a chiropractor my job is to remove blockages in the body using a chiropractic adjustment.  There are hundreds of chiropractic techniques out there now.  I studied with several mentors of various techniques and SOT (Sacral Occipital Technique) resonated with me the most.  The foundation of SOT is to re-establish normal flow of the cerebral spinal fluid.  This fluid is produced by cells surrounding the brain and flows down the spine and out the holes in the spine to bathe with nourishment all the nerves of the body.  It also acts like a cushion protector in the brain and spinal cord as is surrounds them.   All of chiropractic was founded on this premise of locating the primary blockages thus restoring the ability of the body to return to it's natural homeostasis and heal itself.    Quite simple.   However,  my education in and out of school also went on to learn the names of all the illnesses that can afflict a person and all the tests to do to prove it.  When I got out of chiropractic school and into the real working world I found a great pressure to name/diagnose the issues.  We as chiropractors are not legally permitted to diagnose.  Our gift is to locate the imbalance/injury/trauma/blockage and add a force/energy to help remove it so the body can heal.  Well,  I have to say it has been very challenging to remain that pure.  I have over the years wavered and succumbed to the pressures of our medically oriented society that believes the power is in the name/diagnosis.  And, my own ego that wants to show how smart it is and come up with a name.   Truthfully, a diagnosis is only a word that was made up to describe some condition.  

So, here is where it comes full circle......

As I,  and my practice has evolved, I once again looked back to my beginning teachings and the truth behind the philosophy of removing blockages so the innate wisdom of the body can heal itself.   This brings us to the present day of studying Spring Forest QiGong and the fundamental philosophy of moving energy and removing blockages.  In chiropractic it was removing blockages in the nervous system and in QiGong it is removing excess energy from the system.  What I focused on in Sacral Occipital Technique was the cerebral spinal fluid flow and in QiGong it is Qi/Chi.   How ironic that they both run in the same area of the body providing life force and nourishment.

Isn't the universe funny.

Master Chunyi Lin

Love It Out Of You and Set It Free

When an individual lives with chronic pain and illness it becomes easy to be mad at it and to hate it.  We hate the arthritis, we hate the joints that hurt, we hate the illness, we hate the tumor...... 

Some practices encourage us to "fight it" to prepare for battle to "defeat it". 

However, the illness, tumor, pain is a part of us. 

Are we not hating a part of ourselves?

Are we not waging war on a part of ourselves?

Are we not casting away, destroying a part of ourselves?

After 27 years a light bulb has turned on inside of me to finally accept the deep connection that exists between my mind and body.  I have a mind that was trained in science. A mind that was taught look at  illness as an invader that has infiltrated my body causing some disease state.  What is traditionally referred to as the germ theory.  However,  we do exist everyday with viruses, bacteria, pathogens, toxins coming in contact with us and even getting inside us. Yet for some reason, they don't bother us, in fact they might even live with us in a symbiotic existence.  But, why did it all change one day?

I now have a greater appreciation for when my lyme doctor, Dr. Lesley Fein, said to me 20 years ago that she thinks we get sick at certain times because we are vulnerable at that time.  Yes,  It was a very stressful time in my life.  I grew up every summer pulling several engorged ticks off of me and I was never sick.  I lived in the pine barrens of NJ.  But, that summer, that tick caught me at a vulnerable time. My defenses were low.  NOW,  20 years later I am beginning to understand and more importantly accept her statement. 

We all tend to store our physical, emotional, and mental traumas in our bodies and minds. Over time they accumulate and weaken our most inner being.  Think of it like a football game.  If one team experiences the loss of several key players ( line backer, blockers, tight ends...) during the course of a game their opponent (germs, illnesses....) can overpower them and invade/infiltrate their territory.  

Some say that the dis-eases we are experiencing have been drawn to us for a reason.  I know for me they have led me to very important learning experiences.  As strange as it sounds, they have all changed my life for the better. I do, however, wish I was a quicker learner and less stubborn to see the truth.  

Master Chunyi Lin, founder of Spring Forest QiGong, talks about how we need to love and transform our pain (physical, mental, emotional) in nature.  It is a part of us.  To hate it is to hate apart of ourselves.  Perhaps a better way is to acknowledge it, thank it for the lessons it has come to teach us and transform it to love/butterflies and set it free to leave our bodies. 

I know all to well that  it takes a substantial amount of energy to mount hate and attempt to drive with force something away then it does to send love and set it free.  Sit with this concept and really feel the difference for a moment.

 I invite you to join me in this practice of self healing and making more room for happiness by setting free the pain and suffering. 

You look fine ...... revisited.

 This is a reprint of my posts years ago.

This is for everyone that suffers from "invisible illnesses" so that others can have a glimpse into our world. 

Thursday, October 31, 2013

You Look Fine ...

This is something I wrote back in 2008 or so when I was very sick.  Anyone that has suffered from something that is not an evident physical problem might be able to relate to this.

What does "You look fine" mean?  You expected me to be in pajamas, dirty wrinkled clothes, unkept hair... You expected me to be long faced, ashen gray...  Take a look on the inside. Take a look in my eyes to my inner being.  This is a place that is struggling to be up, to keep up with the simplest of demands and tasks.  This is a place filled with physical pain, emotional struggles, overcoming daily challenges and chronic exhaustion.  This is not what you see when you look at me is it?  Everyday I put on my best look for you and for me.  I need to, in order to try and hold onto some normalcy in my life.  It might take me half a day or half the morning to muster the courage to face the world but I do it.  I have to.  Other wise I'm afraid I might crumble from the inside - out.

Being a doctor I believe makes me even better at hiding myself from others.  Patients come to me for help not to see a struggling doctor.  Over the years I have had to develop ways to hide my physical shortcomings, mental changes and even my ability to communicate.  I limited how much I moved in front of patients so they couldn't see my altered gait due to the pain in my knees and feet.  I hid my weak left arm resting it in my pants pocket until they were face down on the table.  I spoke slowly when asked a question.  Patients thought it was so they could understand, but really, it was a stalling tactic because I couldn't access the information in my once sharp, steel trap brain.  I began to worry that as a result of my loss of cognitive ability and physical changes that I was not offering my patients the best care I knew they deserved and the care I used to be able to give them.  I became afraid of missing a key point in their health history/story and jeopardize their care.  Additionally, I was unable to write good notes due to the difficulty getting the words from my head to my hand and then to write them legibly.  All of these concerns scared me because of the potential for a malpractice suit and I felt like I was letting my patients down.  They deserved a whole doctor.  So, I got better and better at hiding my short comings from the patients, family, partner and friends.  I even began to realize that I had become an expert at rationalizing all of it to myself in an effort to convinced myself I was OK.  Since everyone kept saying how good I looked.  I must be good - right?

The day finally came when I had to face the fact that life how it was had to change.  This meant giving up my practice.  The time had come that the constant pushing of myself was crating more harm to myself and threats of mishaps.  The life I had managed to manipulate, rationalize and struggle to hold onto ended abruptly one October day.

Scared, relieved, uncertain, exhausted are just a few of the emotions, feelings, thoughts that ran through me when the doctor said "this is it - no more work".  Scared that what had been my reason to hold it together and push on was no longer.  Scared that I would crumble emotionally and physically.  Scared to face how I really felt.  Scared of my reality.  Relieved I did not have to listen to patients while trying to ignore my own aching body and sluggish brain.  Relieved from the burden of worry about my practice. Uncertain what the future held physically, mentally and emotionally.  Then the reality of the exhaustion came to the forefront.  The pain I had been trying to ignore escalated to my attention.  I no longer had to suck it up and put on a good front for my patients and peers.  I was sinking into the extent of my illness and how it and my pushing for all those years had taken a terrible toll on me.

No one understood this because I looked fine.