Getting old is really in your head

I was listening to Louise Hay's audio book The Power is Within You.  In this particular chapter she was addressing the aging process.  Here are some of the highlights of this chapter.

Getting old is a normal and natural process of living.

We are on this planet to experience every part of life.

Separate the idea that you get old and get sick as you age.

You do not have to get sick or suffer to die.

When it is our time to leave and we have accomplished what we came here to do we can take a nap and leave peacefully. 

We do not have to suffer in our last years and days in order to leave the planet.

The Aging Set Point Theory states:

• We do not get old by chronological age.
• We have a biological time clock that exists in our minds.
• If we think 35 is midlife then our bodies begin to accelerate our aging at that point for a decline. If we think at age 70 we are now old, our bodies then become old.
• Our beliefs, thoughts and concepts dictate how long we live and our quality of life. 

For as long as I can remember I always thought I would leave this earth at age 57.  Well,  shocking to me I am in my 57th year and still kicking. In many ways stronger and wiser as a result of my health journey. 

I think my innate wisdom knew that a part of me would be dying at 57.  Yes,  that is what is true.  I was given a choice, like we all are, to either continue my life the way I had been living it prior OR get rid of / leave behind / let die those things, ideas, concepts, thought patterns, beliefs, people, places........ that no longer serve me and create from that day forward a new life.  I have chosen the latter. 

I have chosen the road less traveled.  Which happens to be one of my favorite books I read when I was a teenager. 

Abundance and prosperity is about allowing ourselves to accept.

Open up and Feel from Spike's Book of Life Lessons

                                     Definition of Feel used as a verb:

                                                  To receive information by touch

                                                  To receive information by being touched

                                                  To perceive, sense, detect, discern, experience, endure

                                    Definition of Feel used as a noun:

                                           A sensation of texture, grain, quality of an object or material 

                                          

Let's begin this way and then proceed into Spike's Lesson on Feeling.

How different is this experience in your body?

You are leaving a gathering at a buddy's/friend's house.  When you get to the door you exchange a hug.  Your friend says, " thanks for coming" as they give you a pat on the back and a squeeze of your shoulder.  You return the gesture with a similar pat and a squeeze of their shoulder. You each smile and part ways.  Now, let's think about this experience and feel this exchange.  Most likely no real emotion or physical feeling was exchanged.  Your energy field was close to your body.  Maybe not completely closed as though you had on armor - but maybe.  It depends how safe/comfortable you feel with that friend.  But I doubt the hug lingered. That would have been awkward.  That linger allows a chance to really share is reserved for people we trust and in an environment we feel safe. Opening ourselves, opening our energy fields, letting down our protective armor, reducing our surface tension is a conscious choice.  It exposes our vulnerable underbelly as Spike would say. 

Most working dogs do not roll over and expose their underbelly to just anyone.  You must earn their trust before they will allow you that close or allow themselves to be that exposed and vulnerable. 

Let's talk a minute about this concept of surface tension.  We are familiar with the phenomenon whereby a bug seems to defy all odds and walk on water.  How can that be? Shouldn't they fall thru and drown? They don't because there is a thin layer of water molecules that line up on the surface of the water forming a barrier that prevents their legs from penetrating into the water.   This is called surface tension.  The barrier/tension of the closely packed molecules allows the bug to stay on top of the water and walk across effortlessly.  If the bug is too heavy or the water is choppy the tension is compromised and the bug falls thru.  

We, as humans, usually go through life protected in some manner.  For instance, we might wear more clothing, keep our distance, construct walls around us, put on energetic armor, or increase our surface tension.  All in an effort to protect us from the unwanted energies of people, places and things invading our space.  

I am not implying that this is a bad practice.  It definitely comes in handy.  However, when and how do we lessen or remove these protections? How do we reduce our surface tension?

Allowing someone in is a conscious choice.

The first day I met Spike and he laid next to me on the floor at Christine's house with his back against my leg. I laid my hand on his side and I experienced him making a conscious choice to let me in.  When my hand touched his fur then rested more deeply onto his skin it felt like my hand and his body were one.  The surface tension was gone.  I had been working, playing and petting many dogs that day and this did not occur with any of them.  They allowed me to interact and touch them and even adjust them but their surface tension remained.  Not with Spike.  There came a calmness, stillness in that instance that I had never experienced before.  I knew that if he trusted me to this depth that we had something special.  I didn't realize that he was teaching me a very big lesson on how to open up and feel another being.  A lesson that I would need when I found my partner in life.  

To truly experience another being we have to reduce our surface tension and remove our protective mechanisms we have put in place.  This is a conscious choice done when we feel safe and trust the other enough to expose our "tender underbelly".  This is when the magic happens.  This is when we can truly Feel another being and they can truly Feel us.    Thanks Spike

I am worthy

A week filled with ah ha moments.  The latest being, why have I denied myself the freedom to experience all the joy, love and happiness the universe bestows upon me.  I know, at times, I have limited and dampened receiving and allowing my self to feel/accept the full amount of love, joy and happiness that has come my way.  Was it because in my upbringings and teachings it was common place to suffer, be a martyr, carry burdens.  Was I such a sinner that I didn't deserve to be happy.  Did I think I could only handle so much at one time.  What a silly thought that I might explode from too much joy?!?!?

Each one of us deserves to be happy. To allow ourselves to let in and feel and experience ALL the good.  It is not going to run out.  We do not have to ration it.  More of the same will follow because like follows like.

Love With All Your Heart from Spike's Book of Life Lessons

 Three months into having Spike in my life I realized I still had not allowed him into my heart.  What does that mean? Well sure, I walked him, fed him, played ball with him.... However we were not really connected at the conscious and deep level.  Yes, it was 3 months prior that I had seen him out of the corner of my eye in a large yard filled with sled  dogs of all ages owned by my friend Christine in New Hampshire.  I was there to adjust several of her sled dogs.  Out of the corner of my eye, way down the hill in the dog yard I noticed a young dog jumped up on his dog house and his hind legs stayed bent.  Odd I thought.  I asked Christine who the dog was and she said his name was Spike and he was 10 months old.  The litter was named after the vampire show and his siblings were Willow, Minnow, Xander.  I asked if I might look and check him to make sure he was ok.  When I was through with all the dogs she wanted me to adjust we went inside.  Christine brought Spike inside.  It was not a place he saw often since he was being groomed to her next lead dog, following in his father's footsteps.   I examined him and found that both his hamstrings were contracted and some other spinal misalignments.   I worked on him and then showed Christine how to work on him to help him.  Afterwards we were all sitting around talking as the house dogs and Spike roamed around.  I was sitting on the floor with my legs stretched out when he choose to lay next to me pressing his outstretched back into the side of my right leg.  I hesitated a moment before I carefully placed my entire right hand gently on his side.  The moment I touched him I felt an instant peace between he and I.  My hand and his body were one.  I was not ready for another dog. I was not looking for another dog since I had to put Zia to sleep 3 years earlier and the wound/loss was still fresh.  I drove home thinking about that moment.  I waited a few days and called Christine and told her that if Spike didn't work out as a sled dog and she needed to find him a home I would be honored to have him.  2 weeks passed and she called and said the she had several other promising dogs to train and groom to be sled dogs and that she felt it best that Spike came to me to live.   

It took a few weeks to coordinate Christine bringing Spike out for a trial visit.  I had 3 cats one of which was blind and had a head trauma when he was young.  Spike had to be able to live with Kali, TeeTee and Owl.  His lineage was known to chase and kill cats.  I crossed my fingers he was different.  He was so cute.  A 10 month old wide eyed boy entering a large open living room with big area rugs.  He quickly spotted the rugs and ran over to one and laid down.  It was as though it was the most luxurious bed he had ever encountered.  He loved rugs his entire life.  Even jumping on them as I would attempt to rearrange them in the house and I would drag him around to the new location.  After a while he got up and checked out the toys and the room.  Yes, he realized he didn't have to share his new toys or worry someone would steal them.  I remember when he got up from chewing a bone on his new favorite rug - it couldn't  get any better or could it?  He walked over to the water bowl and looked down into it.  He turned and looked at me with a big smile and happy eyes.  I knew what he was thinking - the water is clear, no meat floating in it!!  I had watched him a few weeks earlier holding his breath and grimacing as he grabbed the pieces of meat floating in his water bowl before he drank some of the water.  This is a common practice among mushers called baiting that the do in the winter to ensure that dogs drink enough water before it freezes.  Spike turned back to his bowl and happily drank until he was satisfied and then returned to his new rug. 

Now it was time to be introduced to the cats he would be living with.  Tee Tee and Kali had already moved upstairs and as it turned out they stayed up there for the next 3 months.  Owl, my blind cat, was very brave exploring the living room and coming over to check out Spike.  Christine got Spike and I got Owl.  We proceeded to sit on the sofa with Owl on my lap and Spike coming over to check him out.  Owl was not affected and was just his usual nonchalant self.  When Spike got a little too excited, Christine would make a low growl and Spike would stop and calm down.  After a few times Spike decided Owl was ok and just left him alone.  I think he thought it was Owl that was growling.  All I know is that he respected Owl and LOVED his cats and any cat I ever brought into the house. 

The cutest think happened when Christine was ready to leave and asked Spike to join her to leave.  At first, he got up to join her then he stopped turned around and returned to sit on his new favorite rug.  It was as if he was saying -you said I was to live here? Why are you asking me to leave??  I had to step in and explain to him that there were people coming to visit and they had a dog that wouldn't get along with him but,  after they left he could come back to live.  He gathered himself together and walked over to Christine and they left. The following week I drove to NH  and picked him up.  

Fast forward 3 months.......

Spike and I were in the car returning after a fun day filled with walks, errands and new places to explore.  He loved the car.  He loved driving around experiencing the world together in his safe little bubble. 

As I was driving up my long steep driveway I looked in to the rearview mirror to see him sitting up in the middle of the back seat intently staring out the front window with his head poking between the front seats next to mine.  You never know what might come running out of the woods across the driveway or even better, what might be already laying in the driveway. He was happy and probably could have lived his life content with the way it was. In that moment I realized I could not.  I wanted more and he deserved more from me than meeting his needs and superficial connection. I looked into his eyes thru the rearview mirror and began to cry.  I experienced a tug in my heart.  I had closed my heart protected my heart from anymore pain after Zia passed.  At that moment, I stopped the car in the middle of the driveway, half way up the steep section.  I put on the emergency brake, took a deep breath and began the first of many life changing conversations with Spike - my teacher.

"Spike, I love you dearly. Thank you for putting up with me, for giving me the space and time I needed to heal.  Thank you for unconditionally loving me. I realize now that I have not fully opened my heart to you. You deserve more from me and I want to be able to love you fully - even if it is hurts. Yes, I am scared because I know that to open my heart again, someday it will be broken again.  But, I want to take that chance.  I don't want to have any regrets. I promise that from this day forward (as scared as I am ) I promise to open my heart to you and let you in."

He looked turned his head and looked at me, cocked it to the side, wagged his tail, perked up his ears and body and said "OK LET"S GO, WE HAVE THINGS TO DO, PLACES TO GO, AND THINGS TO SEE....."  We never looked back. 

Have the courage to do the right thing

 

I have been wondering lately why people and society have such a hard time doing the right thing.  Simple things like acting nice,  talking nicely to others,  treating others with respect, lending a helping hand,  a sympathetic ear.  Today,  I felt like many people of all walks of life are so self absorbed and only looking out for themselves.  They are willing to compromise all ethics and integrity to succeed.  Succeed,  what does that mean really?   Definition of succeed : to achieve the desired aim or result; take over a throne, office or other position; to happen or terminate according to desire; to accomplish an aim in the manner desired.   It is sad that this now comes at all cost. It occurs many times without regard to others.

I see so many instances where smart people, influential people rationalize their actions to justify their success.   

Why has it become unpopular to do the right thing.  Why has it become unpopular to be honest, humble, truthful, decent.  Why are those trying to live a good life looked upon as weak?  

It takes massive amounts of courage to be true to yourself and take other's into consideration.  It is much easier to mow a field by running over everything but it takes longer to go around the trees or even stop and pick up a stray turtle.  Are we too busy to care anymore?

Think of this  - Every one of our actions, words or inactions has the ability to impact another person, place, thing, or animal.  A simple smile to a passing stranger might have the ability to change the course of their day or their life.  Having the courage to do good, be good can effect more than we can even imagine.  Like dropping a pebble in a pond the ripples go out in all directions on the surface and below with far reaching effects.  

I believe we all need to be mindful of our words and actions and consider their consequences on every one and every thing around us.  Yes we are individuals, yet, do not live in a bubble or vacuum.  Have the courage to be your best and do good.  

This post was inspired by a random act of kindness and paying it forward we encountered this weekend while eating in a little cafe in Stroudsburg, PA called The Cure.  Our brunch tab was picked up by a fellow patron.  Turns out someone had started the chain reaction of paying it forward earlier in the day,  and to keep the gift moving forward we did the same.  What a beautiful place and energy to visit and a business worth supporting. 

Deep Thoughts Culminating a Unique year

 Why is this time so scary?

Why is this time so different?

Sickness has never scared me before, why now?

Is it real fear or society induced fear?

Life can end at any moment. Life can change on a dime. This has always been true.

Is it because everything is turned upside down? Red is no longer red. Blue is no longer blue. Top is bottom and bottom is top. Truths are lies and lies are truths.

How does one stay steady in a turbulent sea?

How does one have the strength to weather the storm?

Is my hull strong enough?

The isolation is comforting, but isn't their strength in numbers? Maybe the number is 2. Me and You.

Two footprints in the sand and sometimes there is only one set, is that when you are carrying me.....

Gifts From The Universe Come In Strange Ways

 My mom called the other night and asked me if I have always had my gifts/talents of figuring out and "knowing" what is wrong with my patients.  Be them humans or animals.  I said well, Mom, it is a long story.  Once I got started recalling and telling my mom the story I realized I should write it down because maybe there is someone in the world needing to hear it. So here goes.....

I spent many years in school learning facts, learning how to think, how to store and retrieve information in my brain.  I graduated valedictorian from grade school, 15th out of 565 students in my high school (the highest ranking student not in all accelerated tract classes),  I graduated in the top 5% in college and received the Biology Award. I  graduated from chiropractic school with a 3.999 grade point average.  So, I had clearly learned how to use my brain.  Once I had established my human and animal chiropractic practices I would use all that I learned to help my patients utilizing the techniques I had learned and when need be, refer them to appropriate specialists.  Then things started to change.  I remember working on a human patient and I was sitting at the head of the table. As I attempted to stand up I could not get my body to move.  It was as if someone/something was pressing down on me and keeping me on my stool.  I tried to stand up a few times but was not successful. Not wanting the patient to worry I casually placed my hands back on the sides of his head and neck to make it seem like I knew what I was doing and to buy myself some time to figure out what the heck is going on.  The patient had come in with a strange array of pain symptoms that did not follow any pattern and after adjusting him I was going to stand up and have him sit up and walk around a few minutes to see how he was doing.  Well,  that is not what the universe/innate intelligence had in mind.  So, as I sat there once again with my hands on the sides of his head and neck I finally gave in and said "OK, what am I missing?"  At that point it was like 3 giant lights lit up on various points on his body.  As I sat at the head of the table I kept my right hand on the side of his neck and moved my left hand to a place on his sternum/breastbone and held it there a moment.  Then I moved my left hand to a place on his left ribcage and held that for a few moments.  All the time trying to act cool, calm and collected like I knew what I was doing........  I then felt some stillness come over his body/energy.  I took a breath let it out and said to myself, ok I hope that is all.  This time when I tried to stand up I could !!!  How strange I thought to myself.  The patient got up and walked around delighted that his issues where resolved.  

Another time early on in my learning curve,  a family brought in a young dog about 8 months old that they were taking to training classes.  The trainer they were using knew me and the work I did with animals so when the dog started to refuse to lay down in the sphinx position (on his chest) she suggested to the family to come and see me.  Cindy did not believe it was a training issue because the dog would do everything else you asked of it.   I remember walking into the exam room with this cute chocolate lab wandering around with the family.  I introduced myself and chatted a little to give the dog a chance to smell and check me out.  The dog was very sweet and didn't mind me touching him all over.  I was perplexed because he was in great shape with no real spinal misalignments.  I did notice his ribcage was narrow but he was a young male dog and it takes a while for the ribcage to expand and fill out.  I let him wander some more around the room to buy myself additional time since I was unsure what was the cause of his problems since all the  areas I was taught to check were fine.  He comes over to me and sits in front of me and I say to him,"Chance, what is bothering you?"  At that moment my hands went to his breastbone and I began to move it around and realized it was misaligned forward towards his nose and his rib cage was not moving in and out when he was breathing.  IT was like he could only take shallow short breaths.  I wrapped my arms around him and gently lifted up on his breastbone with an adjustment.  When I moved my hand away Chance took an enormous deep breath in, let it out and flopped chest down on the floor.  His body for the first time could relax.  He just laid there and it looked like his body melted into the floor.  After what seemed like forever but really only a few moments he got up and came over and licked my face.  I couldn't hold back my tears because I could sense that full life force was now in his body.  As I talked with the owners, Chance walked around the room taking deep breaths as tried out his new body by laying down in many places then getting up and trying a new place.  It was as though he was trying out his new body.  On his second visit to me the owners said he was doing great.  In fact, they said they never realized how quickly he used to fatigue and since his adjustment he has had so much more energy.  

It was a Saturday afternoon and I had just finished my human office hours and a client had called who's kids were in town to visit and wondered if I could see their golden retrievers before they left.  I had adjusted  both dogs before when they were in town.  This time the one boy was "just not right"  says the owners.  The only thing I found odd was a misaligned atlas (first vertebra in the neck)  and a line of swelling down the right side of the dog's neck all the way to the chest.  Not being a veterinarian I suggested that once they got home to call their vet to have this odd swelling checked.  As we were standing there talking I continued to observe the dog and it was eating at me what was really wrong.  I was saying in my head Clyde, what is going on with you?  Can you just show me because I can't figure this out."  By this time I was sitting on the top step by the back door of the office and the dogs were meandering around smelling as the owners and I talked.  Out of the blue Clyde puts his front feet on the step directly in front of me and opens his mouth really wide.  As you can imagine, I froze not knowing what to expect as a large golden retriever approached with his mouth wide open.  He stood there, for what seemed like eternity with his mouth open.  He eyes were soft so I then knew he meant no harm.   I said "What's up Clyde?".  Some voice in my head told me to tilt my head down and look in his mouth since clearly that is what he is trying to tell me to do.  When I did, I saw that the roof of his mouth was swollen and hanging down. Clyde let me put my fingers in his mouth and feel the lump.  It was soft and squishy but firm.  I kissed him on his head and said thank you for helping me.  That explains the swelling along the one side of his neck, swollen lymph nodes.  The family took Clyde to the vet the next day and luckily it was an injury and subsequent infection in the roof of his mouth probably due to chewing on a stick.  

I have countless stories of the universe guiding me when my academic knowledge and learned skills were not enough.  

I do have to admit that it was not easy to give in and trust the guidance I was being given.  I was taught to use my brain to figure things out.  I was taught to use reasoning skills and the techniques I had spent years learning and mastering.  Then life took a turn for what most would interpret as for the worst, but for me it saved my life and put me on the path I was supposed to be on, doing what I am supposed to be doing. 

I have written in other blog posts about my health journey so please feel free to go and read those older posts.  I am still on that journey.  But for now I want to share with you the blessings it has and continues to give me.  As my health declined and I lost the ability to write, read/comprehend, and my hands and body was cramping, swelling, increased pain.....  it got to the point that I could not think using my fine tuned brain.  To think was like trying to see thru chocolate pudding or walk thru mud.  

I remember one day very clearly when I was working in my human office when my life changed.  By this time my feet hurt so badly that the only shoes I could wear were hiking boots or barefoot.  My hands were, most of the time, slightly curled and I hid them in my pockets until the patient laid on the table and I took them out of my pockets and uncurled them as I placed them on the patients body.  I was having difficulty remembering the steps to follow in the technique I had studied and used for years.  What was about to happen changed my life forever.  My patient was laying face down on my exam table and I went to the foot of the table to begin my exam as I had always done by evaluating leg length.  I uncurled my fingers by pressing them on my legs and I placed them around the patients feet.  At that moment I realized I had NO idea what to do!!!!  I panicked for a brief moment as I assessed my situation.  I could not dilly dally because I had a patient laying on the table that expected to be taken care of not take a nap while I contemplated my life.  I had hit a crossroads very suddenly and since my goal in life has always been to help people and animals to the best of my ability I needed to figure out how to do that in spite of the fact that my brain and the way I had always thought thru problems was being taken away.  Little did I know, it was for my own good and opening me up to an entirely different way of operating in my own life and my practice.  Change is not easy and some of us go kicking and screaming and at times need to be hit with a sledge hammer.   I was now at a  pivotal point with a client in my care waiting for me to do something and the sledge hammer was being swung in my direction. 

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and prayed that I would be guided to see and feel what was wrong with my client and my hands would be guided to be able to help them.  What other alternative did I have?  Failure was not an option. Giving up was not an option in my book.  When I opened my eyes I "saw" these points on the body that needed attention.  I moved from spot to spot adjusting and doing whatever technique needed to be done in a flow that was being guided from outside myself.  It was amazing.  It was so easy.  It required very little energy on my part.  I actually felt like I was cheating.  I felt like I was given the answers to a test and didn't need to study.  For many years I would feel guilty that I was "cheating"  by the way I just "got" he answers.  Sometimes, the place(s) on the body light up or jump out at me and catch my attention, sometimes my hands move to certain points in what seems like a random pattern. Other times I hear a command, "Go check the head area".....  However the information comes, I have learned to listen to it and follow it.  Otherwise, I can't move like the time I was frozen in on my stool at the head of the table until I did what needed to be done from that position.  

I have found that when working with the animals this process is easier.  Once the animal's trust and connect with me and I ask them what is wrong they usually throw the body part at me that needs help.  They also move their bodies under my hands as I am working on them guiding me in the most precise adjusting direction.

I pray that if you are being guided to change anything in your life that you have the courage to listen and follow your innate intelligence's whisper before it needs to bring out the sledge hammer or worst of all you miss the opportunity.

I will continue to share countless stories from the last almost 20 years since that day.